Who Do We Serve?
Why Sacred Boundaries Matter in a World That Wants Us to Be Everything!
There are conversations we avoid not because we’re afraid — but because they matter too much to rush.
This is one of them.
At Sacred Sister, we speak often about safety.
About healing. About coming home.
About the kind of circle where women can exhale and finally lay it all down.
But what does that actually mean?
In a world where identity politics, inclusion, and trauma all intersect in messy, painful, and highly charged ways —
we have to get really clear about one thing:
Who do we serve?
And the answer is simple.
Even if it’s not easy.
We serve women.
Women born into female bodies.
Women who identify and live as women.
Women who have bled, birthed, broken, grieved, screamed, shrunk themselves, and survived it.
That’s not a rejection of anyone else’s humanity.
That’s a commitment to the sacred depth of the work we do.
This Is Not Anti-Trans. This Is Pro-Healing.
Let me be crystal clear:
This is not about hate. Or fear. Or exclusion for the sake of it.
My relationship with the trans community spans decades.
I’ve supported trans women through every stage of transition — through my beauty salon, through private conversations, through witnessing them in their vulnerability and power.
I’ve done makeup before their first nights out.
I’ve helped with strapping, banding, waxing, electrolysis.
I’ve been the first person to call them beautiful.
The first to listen, to accept, to say: I see you.
I’ve cried with trans women.
Laughed with them.
Celebrated their truth.
But I have also had to make a call:
Sacred Sister is not that space.
Because this space?
This space is for a very particular kind of healing — And it requires a shared embodied experience that is simply different.
When Allyship Gets Angry
At the Mind Body Spirit Festival last week, a trans woman approached me.
Aggressive. Demanding.
“Are you following government rules?”
“Do you allow trans women into your events?”
I responded, calmly and with openness,
“I’d be happy to have a real conversation about our policy if you’d like to understand more…”
She didn’t want to understand.
She wanted to dominate.
She raised her hand in my face and walked away.
And that moment — for me — was the perfect example of why this line must be drawn.
Because womanhood, for those of us who have lived it all our lives, is not a performance.
It’s not a costume. It’s not something you yell your way into.
It’s a wound and a wisdom all at once.
Kaz’s Story
Let me tell you about Kaz.
Kaz is a woman. Born female. Lives female.
She presents in a more masculine way — short hair, no makeup, strong energy.
She’s confident in who she is.
Recently she shared, whilst standing in a women’s toilet queue, a man in the men’s line started shouting at her:
“You’re in the wrong place, mate. That’s the women’s loo.”
And even when she turned around — clearly, obviously, female —
he kept going.
He even came over and tapped her on the shoulder.
And Kaz — beautiful Kaz — turned to him and said:
“What do I need to do? Show you my tits so you’ll let me pee in peace?”
That’s where we are now.
A world so confused about gender, identity, and “rules”
that people feel entitled to police strangers' bodies.
It’s not just exhausting.
It’s not just absurd.
It’s unsafe.
I Don’t Need a Label to Know Who I Am
Here’s my truth:
I don’t need to call myself a cis woman.
I’m just… a woman.
Born in this body.
Raised in this skin.
Bleeding, birthing, grieving, healing — over and over.
I’ve carried 12 pregnancies.
I’ve lost 8 babies.
I’ve had 2 medically necessary terminations.
I’ve had 2 living births, both traumatic.
I’ve had a hysterectomy.
I’ve been through menopause.
This body is a battlefield and a temple.
So yes, when I see someone still in a male body wearing a pregnancy bump (yes it happened, another trigger at the MBS Festival for me to look at!) it brings something up.
Not because I hate. But because I ache.
Because the grief of my womb lives just beneath the surface — like it does for so many women.
Sacred Boundaries Are Love
We hold mixed spaces elsewhere.
In my personal work, I’ve worked with people from every walk of life, and every identity.
I believe in human dignity.
In allyship.
In compassion.
But Sacred Sister is not my space.
It belongs to the women who show up and spill their truth in it.
And when I made the choice to no longer allow trans women in these events —
the space breathed.
Our community exhaled.
Many of the trans women I did speak to said:
“Thank you. That makes sense. We need our own spaces too.”
We’re Not Meant to Serve Everyone
We can’t be everything to everyone.
And when we try, we fail everyone.
Sacred Sister is not here to police identity.
It’s here to honour embodied experience.
If you are a woman who was born into a female body,
who lives as a woman,
and who carries the scars, the stories, and the sacredness of that truth — you are welcome here.
You will not have to explain.
You will not have to translate.
You will not be questioned.
You can simply be.
Because this is who we serve.
And in knowing that — we honour all.
Want to Go Deeper?
So much can be lost in written words — tone, nuance, emotion.
If this stirred something in you, or if you want to truly understand the heart behind these choices, I invite you to come and listen.
🌀 Check out the full episode on the Sacred Sister podcast: Around the Kitchen Table
We talk, we breathe, we share the raw truth — not to convince, but to connect.
You can listen on:
Spotify:https://open.spotify.com/episode/74xlEbMwzlyNtUYgK01GOz?si=8adfad141fa34842
You Tube: https://youtu.be/ajHJiT8_lnY
Let your heart be the one that hears what words on a page sometimes can’t say!!
