Your Energy Is Not Neutral: Why Heart Coherence Matters
This week I realised something uncomfortable.
I was irritated.
Snappy.
Depleted.
Not because anything catastrophic had happened.
Not because there was some great drama in my life.
But because my capacity was full.
And when my capacity is full, even small things feel heavy.
My husband asking, “What do you think?”
My daughter moving through a mood.
Messages pinging.
Emails waiting.
The background hum of the world.
None of it was wrong.
But I could feel it — that subtle edge in my nervous system.
That low-level overwhelm that so many women carry.
The invisible thinking.
The emotional atmosphere.
The mental load of a household.
And I caught myself wanting the world to change so I could feel better.
But that’s not power.
Power begins somewhere else.
When Capacity Runs Out
There is a point — especially for women — where we are not just living our own lives.
We are carrying:
The temperature of the room.
The moods of our children.
The unspoken needs of our partners.
The logistics.
The remembering.
The anticipating.
We are relational beings.
We feel everything.
But feeling everything does not mean absorbing everything.
That was my lesson this week.
Because I noticed something else.
When my nervous system was dysregulated, the whole house felt it.
When I was short, the room tightened.
When I was scattered, the energy scattered.
When I softened, everything softened.
And that’s when it landed.
My energy is not neutral.
Yours isn’t either.
The Field Around Your Heart
This isn’t spiritual fluff.
The heart generates an electromagnetic field measurable several feet beyond the body.
When we are stressed, that rhythm becomes chaotic.
When we breathe slowly and intentionally, it becomes coherent — ordered, smooth, regulated.
In heart coherence:
The brain synchronises.
Stress hormones reduce.
Clarity increases.
Emotional reactivity drops.
It’s physiology.
But here’s the part we rarely talk about:
Human nervous systems entrain to each other.
We sync.
Which means:
If one woman regulates, the room shifts.
If one woman spirals, the room shifts.
Your presence changes the field.
Not metaphorically.
Biologically.
The Leadership We Were Never Taught
For years we have been told that leadership is louder.
Push harder.
Argue more.
Prove yourself.
Fix the system.
But what if leadership begins in regulation?
Especially now.
Especially for midlife women navigating hormonal shifts, menopause, grief, reinvention, exhaustion.
When your nervous system is fried, nothing feels clear.
Heart coherence isn’t about becoming serene and spiritual.
It’s about stabilising yourself.
It’s about saying:
“I will not add more chaos to the field.”
That is strength.
That is sovereignty.
That is feminine leadership.
Taking Responsibility (Without Blame)
This week I had to stop blaming.
Not blaming my husband for asking questions.
Not blaming my daughter for feeling her feelings.
Not blaming the world for being loud.
I had to ask:
Have I eaten properly?
Have I slept?
Have I moved?
Have I stepped outside?
Have I breathed before responding?
Or am I expecting everyone else to regulate me?
There’s a quiet maturity in taking responsibility for your own nervous system.
It doesn’t mean suppressing emotion.
It means tending to it.
And when I do that — when I pause, hand on heart, slow breath — the entire atmosphere changes.
Not because I forced it.
But because coherence spreads.
Why Collective Coherence Matters
Now imagine this.
Not one woman regulating.
But hundreds.
Thousands.
At the same moment.
Breathing slowly.
Focusing on care, gratitude, steadiness.
Choosing coherence over chaos.
Research has explored how group meditation influences collective emotional fields. Even without diving into data, we know this intuitively.
We feel it in circles.
In gatherings.
In moments when women sit together and something settles.
This is not about bypassing reality.
It’s about influencing the field we stand in.
We cannot control the world.
But we can influence the energetic climate we contribute to.
And that matters more than we think.
A Simple 3-Minute Practice
If you want to experience this for yourself:
Sit upright.
Place your hand on your heart.
Breathe in for 5.
Breathe out for 5.
Imagine the breath moving through your heart space.
Then call to mind one feeling of genuine care — for your child, your partner, your younger self, the earth.
Stay there for three minutes.
That’s it.
Do it daily, and your baseline shifts.
Not overnight.
But steadily.
This is discipline.
This is devotion.
You Are Not Powerless
You are not responsible for fixing everything.
But you are responsible for the energy you cultivate.
Your energy is not neutral.
It affects your home.
Your children.
Your partnerships.
Your community.
And when women gather intentionally — not to perform, not to argue, not to burn out — but to regulate together, something profound happens.
We remember our steadiness.
We remember our power.
We remember that change does not only come through force.
Sometimes it comes through coherence.
And that is the leadership I am choosing now.
If this resonates, you might feel called to join us at One Voice Rising — a moment where women across the world gather in heart coherence together.
Not to fix the world.
But to influence it.
From the inside out.
With steadiness.
With presence.
With power.
Just check out the page here and choose the way you want to be involved on international womens day, and if not that day, anytime, you need to bring some power and presence into your day…..
Big love Sister
You’ve got this!
Oh and check out this weeks podcast for more too:
