When Did We Start Being So Cruel to Each Other?
I was sitting watching Married at First Sight Australia recently…
and honestly…
I had to pause it.
Not because of the drama.
Not because of the relationships.
But because of the way the women were speaking to each other.
The judgement.
The cutting comments.
The subtle digs and honestly not so subtle, it was mean….
The way they spoke about each other… and sometimes to each other.
And I found myself thinking…
When did this become normal?
Because this isn’t just TV.
This is a mirror.
Maybe not in the exact same way…
but if we’re really honest…
Most of us have experienced this.
Being talked about.
Being judged.
Feeling like we don’t quite belong.
Walking into a room and sensing the energy shift.
And if we go even deeper…
Most of us have probably done it too.
Not because we’re bad people.
But because we’ve been conditioned into it.
The Sister Wound We Don’t Always See
We don’t come into this world wanting to tear each other down.
But somewhere along the way…
We learned:
– to compare
– to compete
– to protect ourselves by keeping a distance
– to judge before we could be judged
And slowly… subtly…
we stopped feeling safe with each other.
This is what I speak about when I talk about the sister wound.
It’s not just about what’s been done to us.
It’s about what’s been passed down…
modelled…
normalised.
The Truth About Judgement
Judgement is often a mask.
A protection.
A way of saying:
“I don’t feel safe here.”
Or even deeper:
“I don’t feel safe in myself.”
Because when we feel grounded, connected, and secure…
We don’t need to tear other women apart.
We can see them.
Hold them.
Even if we don’t agree with them.
This Is Why Spaces Matter
This is exactly why spaces like circle matter.
Not because they’re perfect.
Not because women suddenly become enlightened the moment they sit down.
But because they offer something different.
A new way.
A place where we practice:
– listening instead of interrupting
– witnessing instead of fixing
– holding instead of judging
And slowly… over time…
We begin to soften.
Taking Responsibility (This Is the Hard Part)
It’s easy to watch something like that and say:
“They’re awful.”
“I would never do that.”
But the real work is asking:
Where does this live in me?
Where do I judge?
Where do I close off?
Where do I make assumptions about other women?
Not from shame.
But from awareness.
Because awareness is where everything begins.
A Different Way Is Possible
I truly believe this…
Women are not meant to be against each other.
We are meant to sit together.
To support each other.
To remind each other who we are.
But that requires something from each of us.
Softening.
Honesty.
Responsibility.
And a willingness to do things differently.
If you’ve ever felt judged…
or found yourself judging…
You’re not alone.
But you do get to choose another way.
And maybe…
That’s where the healing begins.
If you’re craving spaces where you can be yourself without judgement…
That’s exactly what we are creating inside The Sanctuary.
A place to come as you are.
To be seen.
To be heard.
To belong.
